LEARN ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (DV)

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

Printable Cycle of Violence

Battering usually follows a distinct pattern or cycle, known as the Cycle of Violence. There are three phases to this cycle: Tension Building, Violence or Eruption, and then the Honeymoon Period.

In time, the cycle of violence usually speeds up, increasing in both frequency and intensity. The honeymoon phase may shorten, while the violent phase is prolonged. Outside factors may add increased pressure to this dangerous cycle. Such factors can include pressure or expectations from family, friends, society, your culture, and even religious leaders. There are also the pressures of finances and children.

Tension Building Stage

The BATTERER may...

• Fear abandonment and use abuse to control the partner
• Blame the partner for problems
• Is often jealous and/or possessive

The VICTIM may...

• Think she deserves it
• Minimize her pain
• Repress her anger
• Feel like she is “walking on eggshells”
• Take responsibility for “fixing” the situation/relationship

Violence or Eruption Stage

The BATTERER may...

• Show extreme rage
• Desire to “teach him/her a lesson”
• Blackmail victim (If you tell, I will take the kids)

The VICTIM may...

• Feel terrified
• Allow herself to express own anger by fighting back
• Feel depressed, helpless, hopeless

Honeymoon Stage

The BATTERER may...

• Feel guilty and sad
• Cry and beg forgiveness
• Make promises to change behavior
• Be loving and kind
• Bring presents/flowers

The VICTIM may...

• Feel happy and hopeful
• Feel sympathetic toward partner
• Believe what partner is saying is true

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