JUST FOR TEENS
Is Your Relationship Abusive?
 Printable
Is Your Relationship Abusive?
Ask yourself the following questions and decide for yourself whether
or not you are being respected.
Are you going out with someone who…
Acts jealous and possessive towards you?
Tries to tell you who you can be friends with?
Checks up on you?
Scares you?
Makes you afraid of how he/she will react to things?
Is violent?
Explodes when he/she gets angry?
Pushes or shoves you?
Grabs you too hard?
Pressures you for sex?
Is forceful or scary about sex?
Isolates you?
Puts down your friends and/or family?
Tries to control you?
Gives you orders?
Blames you and others for his/her problems?
Puts you down? (even as a “joke”)
Calls you names?
Makes fun of you in front of friends?
Gets too serious too quick?
Won’t let you break up?
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Your Dating Rights...
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Your Dating Rights
I have the right to refuse a date without feeling guilty.
I have the right to ask for a date without being "crushed"
if the answer is "no".
I have the right to choose to go somewhere alone without having to pair
up with someone.
I have the right not to be "macho" or "seductive".
I have the right to say "no" to physical closeness.
I have the right to say, "I want to get to know you better before
I become more involved."
I have the right to say, "I don't want to be in this relationship
anymore."
I have the right to an equal relationship.
I have the right not to be abused physically, sexually, or emotionally.
I have the right to change my goals whenever I want.
I have the right to have friends and space aside from my partner.
I have the right to refuse sex at any time, for any reason.
I have the right to tell my partner when I need affection.
I have the right to be heard.
I also have the right...
To express my opinions and have them respected.
To have my needs be just as important as my partner's needs.
To grow as an individual, in my own way, at my own pace.
To change my mind at any time.
To not take responsibility for my partner's behavior.
To tell my partner not to interrupt me.
To break up and fall out of love with someone and not be threatened.
I always have the right to be safe.
Source: Family Violence Network Dating Violence Program; Clark, V.D.
& Clark, D.O. "What You Should Know About Relationship Violence",
Texas A&M University
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HOW TO HELP A FRIEND
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How To Help A Friend
If you know someone who’s being abused, here’s how to help:
Be there. Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for, and believe
what is told to you.
Don’t pressure your friend to break up with his or her partner,
and don’t put the partner down. This may drive your friend away.
Don’t tell your friend how s/he should feel. Recognize that it is
still possible to love someone who hurts you.
Encourage your friend to get help. Offer to help find a counselor s/he
can trust and offer to go with your friend to meet the counselor.
Call a domestic violence hotline to find out what you can do to help
your friend. You can remain anonymous if you wish.
Get written information on relationship abuse and share it with your
friend.
Allow your friend to make his or her own decisions, and respect those
decisions even if you don’t agree with them.
If you know someone who’s abusing a girlfriend or boyfriend, here’s
how to help:
Tell your friend very clearly that his or her behavior isn’t cool.
Encourage your friend to get help. Offer to help find a counselor s/he
can trust, and offer to go with him or her to meet the counselor.
If your friend grew up in a violent home, try to get him or her to talk
about how that affected his or her own relationships.
Be supportive of your friend’s partner. Let him or her know that
s/he doesn’t deserve to be abused.
Call a domestic violence hotline to find out what you can do to help
your friend. You can remain anonymous if you wish.
Get written information on relationship abuse and share it with your
friend and your friend’s partner.
Speak up when peers make disrespectful remarks or sexist jokes.
Be a role model for healthy relationships by treating your partner and
friends with respect.
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